It is a natural part of any relationship to have conflict. Whether we are trying to solve problems in our marriages or between parents and children, we all must learn how to cope with them. In this article, we will give eight strategies for preventing arguments before they happen.
Any relationship has to learn how to deal with conflicts; whether it’s dealing with them between parents or between spouses, for example. Here, we’ll discuss eight methods to prevent an argument before it begins.
Take a break.
When you notice yourself becoming irritated or furious, take a deep breath and step away from the issue for a few minutes. If feasible, leave the room to collect your thoughts and breathe a little bit. This will help calm your emotions and prevent the problem from getting any worse.
When you want to express your feelings without blaming the other person, use ‘I’ statements.
A blameless method to express how you feel in place of blaming language is to say, “I feel frustrated when I return home from work and discover that the toilet seat is still up.” Using ‘I’ statements rather than blaming language will enable you to receive an understanding response from your loved one without feeling attacked or defensive. This approach can also decrease defensiveness when a third party is involved in the altercation because they will be less prone to take things personally.
When you are angry, don’t try to win an argument.
It’s common to lose sight of what’s really important when you’re in an argument with someone. You may be tempted to try and win the argument instead of addressing the problem at hand. Trying to win an argument rather than addressing the issue at hand is a mistake. When you’re angry, your emotions will cloud your judgment and prevent you from thinking clearly. Before addressing the problem, you should let your emotions cool down.
Do you really want to get into an argument over this matter?
Be selective when choosing what issues to argue about. You should assess whether a matter is worth investing time and effort in or not. If you don’t think something is worth fighting about, why bother? If you invest time and energy in something that isn’t as important as another issue, you’ll end up wasting your time and resources on something that might not be solved at all or may be easily handled.
Accept responsibility for your share of the issue.
The first thing you must do if you’re in a dispute with someone else is own up to your own words and actions. Don’t try to place the blame on someone else, even if someone else may have been involved and contributed to some of the issues. A good option is to say, “I’m sorry for what I did” or “I can see how this might have seemed wrong to you.” This shows that you’re owning up to your portion of the problem, rather than trying to shift the blame to someone else.
Learn to gracefully deflect criticism.
It’s simple for us to become defensive when we’re criticized. We feel the need to defend ourselves and prove our worth, but if you wish to avoid an argument before it begins, you must learn to deflect criticism gracefully. Instead of getting defensive and explaining yourself or defending yourself against criticism, simply say ‘thank you for sharing that’ when someone criticizes you.
Be polite when disagreeing.
People typically begin by stating ‘I think’ or ‘I feel’ to express their point. These words, known as hedges, indicate that there may be another perspective or way of thinking besides their own. Consequently, others in the discussion are able to listen to what they have to say and concur without feeling disagreeable.
Tell one thing you both agree on.
When you’re in the middle of an argument, it’s easy to get caught up in your own emotions and forget that there are other perspectives out there. Instead of getting caught up in your own point of view, try to find one thing you agree with your partner on. Even if you’re not seeing eye-to-eye right now, you can still find common ground.
Having the ability to effectively communicate with your family, friends, and loved ones is one of the most beneficial things you can have. It won’t be simple, and it won’t happen overnight: communicating is a skill that requires time and practice to master. However, when you master it, there’s nothing quite like seeing an excellent argument turn into a serious discussion. It’s lovely.