How To Resolve Conflicts With Active Listening

The first thing that might come to mind when thinking about conflict resolution skills is active listening. This technique is one of the most critical tools you can employ to help solve conflicts in your connections and avoid them in the future. In this post, you will discover what active listening is, why it is vital for conflict resolution, and how you can utilize it in your own life. 

What is active listening?

Active listening is the process of going beyond just hearing and understanding what someone is saying, and also includes a willingness to be affected by it. This means that when you are actively listening, you are engaging more with the person speaking than with your own thoughts or feelings. When you’re engaged in active listening, you’re being open, curious, and non-judgmental. You’re not just waiting for your turn to speak next. Instead, you’re focused on understanding the other person’s perspective, emotions, and experiences.

Why is active listening important for conflict resolution?

Active listening is key to resolving conflicts because it helps you to understand the other person’s perspective, build trust, and strengthen relationships. When you’re actively listening to someone, you’re not just waiting for your turn to speak next. Instead, you’re focused on understanding the other person’s perspective, emotions, and experiences. When you understand a person on a deeper level, you can have more meaningful and productive conversations, resolve conflicts, and strengthen your relationships. Active listening can also help you see the situation from multiple perspectives. This can help you find win-win solutions to your problems, which can ultimately lead to better outcomes for everyone involved.

How can you be a better listener?

If you want to be a better listener, start by reflecting back on the emotions, feelings, and thoughts that the other person expresses to you. You can do this by saying something like, “It sounds like you are feeling _______ because _______. Is this correct?” 

Reflecting back on the other person’s feelings and thoughts shows them that you’re fully engaged in the conversation, and validates their experience. Reflecting back can also show the other person that you’re interested in their thoughts and feelings, which can help to strengthen your relationship. Next, focus on understanding the person. Ask yourself questions like, “What is the other person trying to tell me?” “What are they feeling?” “What is their perspective on the situation?” “What might they be trying to hide or avoid?” And lastly, pay attention to your own feelings, thoughts, and urges. It’s important to stay focused on listening to the other person, but it’s also important to acknowledge your own feelings and thoughts in order to avoid getting lost in them.

3 steps to becoming a better listener

These are some steps that you can take to become a better listener:

– Be present – When someone is talking to you, be there in the moment with them. Make it a point to avoid thinking about what you’re going to say next, scrolling through social media, or anything else that might take your attention away. 

– Focus on both the content and the emotion behind the words – When you are talking to someone, make it a point to not only focus on the words that they are saying but also the emotion behind them. Let them know that you understand not only what they’re saying but also how they feel about it. 

– Resist the urge to respond or react – If you notice yourself becoming defensive or wanting to respond to what the other person is saying, try to resist the urge. Let them finish speaking, and then ask for clarification if needed. You’ll find that you have much better discussions if you avoid jumping to conclusions or making assumptions.

Summary

Active listening goes beyond just hearing and understanding what someone is saying and also includes a willingness to be affected by it. When you are actively listening, you are engaged and open, curious, and non-judgmental. You are not just waiting for your turn to speak next. Instead, you are focused on understanding the other person’s perspective, emotions, and experiences. When you understand a person on a deeper level, you can have more meaningful and productive conversations, resolve conflicts, and strengthen your relationships. Be present, focus on both the content and the emotion behind the words, and resist the urge to respond or react. These are some steps that you can take to become a better listener.

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